01 February 2008

regina spektor!

i love her. too good. perfect for a friday night of pinot noir and lentil soup. yum.

listening to begin to hope makes me want to play the piano again, although i was never very good (at anything, really). my piano teacher in 5th grade told me i had perfect fingers for playing piano but she was always disappointed in me because i didn't practice enough. it made me sad that she was disappointed in me, but i was too carefree to sit around and practice the piano all the time. something about the piano reminds me of riding a bike. it seems that grown-ups who ride bikes don't ride for the same reason that i would ride my bike when i was a kid. it was something akin to flying.

i used to play the clarinet too. and the steel drums. for three years. in middle school. at lunch. remember steve nelson? what ever happened to that guy? the dream boy of middle school. he played steel drums too. and we 'went out' for like three days. but i broke it off. i wasn't really allowed to date boys in middle school.

thinking back to middle school is like a dream. i mean, was that real? i'm so far removed from who i was then, physically, mentally, emotionally, all -ly. i never had that 'impending sense of doom' then, which i kinda have now. really the only thing to worry about in middle school was doing your homework and what really awesome looney tunes shirt should i wear today?

i was really into the beatles in middle school. like, it defined me as a person. i remember once that some girl from the only other middle school in our town came up to me once at some like, basketball game, and said, 'hey, are you that girl who really likes the beatles? cuz i really like the beatles too.' as if we were the only two people in the world who defined themselves by their love of songs like 'hey jude' and 'penny lane'. i think if i ever have a child, who is a girl, i'm gonna name her either penny lane, or abbey road. seriously. how rad would it be if your name was Penny Lane... or Abbey Road. Or whatever surname she may have. how did this girl know that i liked the beatles? was my love of the beatles a topic of discussion throughout our valley? i doubt it.

i wanna feel like i remember feeling in middle school. it was nice.


  1. Middle school. Funny: perspectives.
    Things have never seemed as dark for me as they did in middle school and high school. Though, I do know what you're talking about. I remember having that same sense in elementary school - you know, when you could lean way back and close your eyes while swinging really high on a swing and it would feel like you were flying. I think that what's missing now is my ability to feel amazed by anything. Life isn't amazing anymore. Or new. It's a shame. Also, back when you were younger, you had your adult life to look forward to. You imagined the you you are now, and it was kinda like fantasizing about all of the things that you'll do when you win the lottery. Life is a lot more fun when it hasn't happened yet.

    Simon and Garfunkel are the most amazing duo of all time. Ever. And, yeah, Sound of Silence is goose-flesh good. As are many of their songs - Bridge Over Troubled Waters, for example.

    You probably were notorious for loving The Beatles in middle school. You were probably that girl to a lot of people. I think it was very sophisticated of you to appreciate Penny Lane at such a young age. And, yeah, Penny Lane would be a fantastic name for a daughter. You should get pregnant just so you could name a human that. But, what will you name it if you have a boy?

  2. My boy will be Jonas. Like, My Name is Jonas, the Weezer song. :)


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