you know when you feel emotionally and mentally unwell and then you feel physically unwell and you can't tell if its just because of the emotional and mental unwellness or of its an unrelated physical unwellness?
yeah. that's where i am. maybe its because i haven't had a day off since the 17th and have spend the last 4 days after work moving all of my tons of shit into boxes where they will remain for at least a couple of months in my parents overcrowded basement. or maybe its the emotional stress from my recent and yet unrecent break up. or maybe its my actual medical issue, the illusive sarcoidosis. i want to think its one of the first two, because those things you can get over, the actual medical illness thing is kinda scary, because people die from diseases, you know? although i am definitely not 100% sure you can get over heart break either, but time will tell on that one.
i think i should quit one of my part time jobs. or both. i have been saying that for years though. i have a problem letting things go. see afore mentioned heart break as example a, and my tons of shit as example b.
i know what will make me feel better, doing a little photoshop action on this rad picture of myself:
dang i gots skills at photo manipulation. actually i don't. i see things all the time and go 'dang, wish i knew how to do that' but i'm figuring stuff out all the time. someday i will be a photoshopmaster. i hope.
i want like 2 weeks off to sit around and do nothing but watch beastmaster and charlies angels and murder, she wrote and CHiPs and eat chips.
so the subject line of this blog entry is a line from a regina spektor song and i wanna make it my mantra.
what's a mantra?