29 February 2008

i play with illustrator

i'm the hero of this story, don't need to be saved.

you know when you feel emotionally and mentally unwell and then you feel physically unwell and you can't tell if its just because of the emotional and mental unwellness or of its an unrelated physical unwellness?

yeah. that's where i am. maybe its because i haven't had a day off since the 17th and have spend the last 4 days after work moving all of my tons of shit into boxes where they will remain for at least a couple of months in my parents overcrowded basement. or maybe its the emotional stress from my recent and yet unrecent break up. or maybe its my actual medical issue, the illusive sarcoidosis. i want to think its one of the first two, because those things you can get over, the actual medical illness thing is kinda scary, because people die from diseases, you know? although i am definitely not 100% sure you can get over heart break either, but time will tell on that one.

i think i should quit one of my part time jobs. or both. i have been saying that for years though. i have a problem letting things go. see afore mentioned heart break as example a, and my tons of shit as example b.

i know what will make me feel better, doing a little photoshop action on this rad picture of myself:

dang i gots skills at photo manipulation. actually i don't. i see things all the time and go 'dang, wish i knew how to do that' but i'm figuring stuff out all the time. someday i will be a photoshopmaster. i hope.

i want like 2 weeks off to sit around and do nothing but watch beastmaster and charlies angels and murder, she wrote and CHiPs and eat chips.

so the subject line of this blog entry is a line from a regina spektor song and i wanna make it my mantra.

what's a mantra?

28 February 2008

p.s. to my favorite actors list

You know who else i really like that i just thought of? gary oldman. boo yeah. oh, and paul newman. dang they are both really awesome, and would probably knock some people off my previous list.

27 February 2008


i think i wanna get into steampunk. i really like the combination of new and old technology.

dude, have you been listening to beirut's the flying club cub? cuz ya oughta be. its so rad.

so is the band of horses album cease to begin.

and belle and sebastian's if you're feeling sinister.

and the pixies bossanova.

that's what i've been hearing lately.

last night i watched this kinda lame Cary Grant movie The Amazing Quest of Ernest Bliss. It wasn't that bad, it just wasn't all that good. One of his earlier films. Dang, that guy made a lot of movies. kinda the opposite of my favorite actor, Daniel Day-Lewis. Although, Cary Grant is definitely in my top ten. Maybe top five. I need to make a list!

Off the top of my head, my top 10 favorite actors:
1. Daniel Day-Lewis
2. Johnny Depp
3. Nathan Fillion
4. Bill Murray
5. Fred Astaire
6. Leo Dicaprio
7. Clint Eastwood
8. Cary Grant
9. John Wayne
10. John Cusack

Numbers one and two are kinda no brainers, i mean, obviously they're my top two, but the rest aren't really in any particular order, and, mind you, this list had no planning, just about a 2 minute think time over my cappuchino.

26 February 2008


how excited was everyone to see daniel day lewis win his second oscar? i know i'm like a little late on posting about this, but dang, ya'll, i just love daniel day lewis.

you know what else is rad? that song australia by the kinks. it's just fun.

so hopefully the new rediviva will be out thursday, especially since there is a release party at river city. i feel like i should prolly go to this one, since i've skipped out on like, all of them except the first one. i'm just such an anti-soc. especially when its a group of acquaintances or strangers. i would so much rather just sit around with a friend or two and watch star wars and read comics and listen to radiohead. call me old fashioned.

who wants to go to sasquatch?

22 February 2008


radiohead says things so much better than i ever could.

Radiohead All I Need Lyrics

I’m the next act
Waiting in the wings
I’m an animal
Trapped in your hot car
I am all the days that you choose to ignore

You are all I need
You’re all I need
I’m in the middle of your picture
Lying in the reeds

I am a moth
Who justs wants to share your light
I’m just an insect
Trying to get out of the dark
I wanna stick with you, because there are no others

You are all I need
You’re all I need
I’m in the middle of your picture
Lying in the reeds

It’s all wrong
It’s all right
It’s all wrong

18 February 2008

there's a lot to be done while your head is still young

this is what i did for lunch today. it was nice.

crack me up

my mom just called to tell me that there is a firefly marathon on sci-fi and she's watching it. i've been trying to get my mom into that show for ever. anyway it cracked me up for some reason, to think of her hanging out all day watching firefly. maybe now my mom will turn into a browncoat. ha ha.

today feels like this

Belle And Sebastian - Sleep The Clock Around

And the moment will come when composure returns
Put a face on the world, turn your back to the wall
And you walk twenty yards with your head in the air
Down the Liberty Hill, where the fashion brigade
Look with curious eyes on your raggedy way
And for once in your life you have nothing to say
And could this be the time when somebody will come
To say, "Look at yourself, you're not much use to anyone"

Take a walk in the park, take a valium pill
Read the letter you got from the memory girl
But it takes more than this to make sense of the day
Yeah it takes more than milk to get rid of the taste
And you trusted to this, and you trusted to that
And when you saw it all come, it was waving the flag
Of the United States of Calamity, hey!
After all that you've done boy, Im sure you're going to pay

In the morning you come to the ladies salon
To get all fitted out for The Paperback Throne
But the people are living far away from the place
Where you wanted to help, it's a bit of a waste
And the puzzle will last till somebody will say
"There's a lot to be done while your head is still young"
If you put down your pen, leave your worries behind
Then the moment will come, and the memory will shine

Now the trouble is over, everybody got paid
Everybody is happy, they are glad that they came
Then you go to the place where you've finally found
You can look at yourself sleep the clock around

try to ignore the camera clicks (i don't know what that is)

15 February 2008

i drink your milkshake!

i drink your milkshake! i drink it up!
(click the link above to hear the line)

i just can't get over daniel day-lewis in there will be blood. my god. if he doesn't win the oscar for best actor i will be shocked, like, jaw to the floor looney tune style.

you know how sometimes you will say something to someone and its like they didn't even hear you although they are standing directly in front of you and looking right at you? that's a bummer.

fridays are good. for a few reasons. like, they are often paydays, which is rad, who doesn't love getting paid for their work? and, you know, they signal the weekend, which is rad if you don't work on the weekend, so there's that. oh, and, for some people, it means fun party dance time, which, you know, if you're into that, that's rad too. oh, and new movies often times come out on fridays in the cinemas, which is good, cuz i likey the movies. for other people, it means there are cool shows to watch like psych or back to back viewings of the hit films daredevil and electra. so, you know, it's all good.

so there is this rad live 365 station called ::: ScifiRadio.Net ::: and they play like soundtracks to all your favorite scifi movies and shows. it always reminds me of movies i haven't seen in a long time and should see again, like gattaca, the village, blade runner, return of the jedi. and they play clips from scifi stuff, like firefly, which always puts a smile on my face.

"i hate to bring up our imminent arrest during your crazy time, but we gotta go."
-Mal (Firefly)

how 'bout that episode of lost last night, huh? we got to find out another of the oceanic 6. that leaves two spots open. at first i was thinking that that meant only 6 of them live through the ordeal, but now i'm thinking it means only that 6 of them make it off the island, i mean, the rest of them could be still alive, they are just still on the island. what do you think?

14 February 2008

why you gotta break my heart?

Polaroid Ends Instant Film Production
My Polaroid Spectra just went into a deep depression. She only has two pictures left! This is tragic!

12 February 2008

Best News Headline of the Day

Ex-Florida prison boss: Drunken orgies tainted system

Only in Florida, man. Remember on Loveline with Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla how they used to do Germany or Florida? Yeah. That was funny stuff.

11 February 2008

netflix woes

so i love netflix. i'm sure i've discussed this before. but i gotta bone to pick, so i'm gonna bitch for a few minutes. but keep in mind that 99% of the time i totally love it. ok. here comes the bile.

so i'm watching stargate sg1 season 1. kinda-i-mean-totally geeky. not the point. so one of the discs had to ship from california last time, and it took like an extra couple days to get here. i was like, eh, that sucks, but hey, whatev, i'll deal, i just wanna watch a little richard dean anderson sci-fi. so i watch it, shoot it back, and the next disc in line ships from even farther away, denver. i'm ticked. i mean, a movie i should have got on tuesday is predicted to get to me on saturday, which, its like, dang i would have rather just had the next movie in my queue, you know? who's got time for that shit. so, it doesn't even get here on saturday. it gets here today. so dang, that sucked, it took forever, whatever, its monday, and i have something to watch after work, boo yeah. so i make me some din-din (a nice little split pea and some cheesy bread, yum) and i settle down, and pop in the disc, and woah, wtf? it's disc 4 instead of disc 5.

SO, not only did it take forever, but its late, and the wrong disc, and at least if it was disc 6 i could watch it, but i just watched disc 4, granted over a week ago, but shit. pissed. so i call the ol netflix hotline, and the gal on the phone was very cordial, and promised to have the right disc ship tomorrow, as well as the next disc in my queue. nice gal. so i'm peeved but happy that i called because now i get an extra disc shipped to me for my troubles. boo yeah.

nerd dork geek

you know what'll cheer up a blah monday morning? listening to some firefly filk. ha ha! Check out this life 365 station Can't Take the Sky. I know its kept me smiling all morning. :)

p.s. if you are wondering what filk is, head over to wikipedia, via this link.

01 February 2008

regina spektor!

i love her. too good. perfect for a friday night of pinot noir and lentil soup. yum.

listening to begin to hope makes me want to play the piano again, although i was never very good (at anything, really). my piano teacher in 5th grade told me i had perfect fingers for playing piano but she was always disappointed in me because i didn't practice enough. it made me sad that she was disappointed in me, but i was too carefree to sit around and practice the piano all the time. something about the piano reminds me of riding a bike. it seems that grown-ups who ride bikes don't ride for the same reason that i would ride my bike when i was a kid. it was something akin to flying.

i used to play the clarinet too. and the steel drums. for three years. in middle school. at lunch. remember steve nelson? what ever happened to that guy? the dream boy of middle school. he played steel drums too. and we 'went out' for like three days. but i broke it off. i wasn't really allowed to date boys in middle school.

thinking back to middle school is like a dream. i mean, was that real? i'm so far removed from who i was then, physically, mentally, emotionally, all -ly. i never had that 'impending sense of doom' then, which i kinda have now. really the only thing to worry about in middle school was doing your homework and what really awesome looney tunes shirt should i wear today?

i was really into the beatles in middle school. like, it defined me as a person. i remember once that some girl from the only other middle school in our town came up to me once at some like, basketball game, and said, 'hey, are you that girl who really likes the beatles? cuz i really like the beatles too.' as if we were the only two people in the world who defined themselves by their love of songs like 'hey jude' and 'penny lane'. i think if i ever have a child, who is a girl, i'm gonna name her either penny lane, or abbey road. seriously. how rad would it be if your name was Penny Lane... or Abbey Road. Or whatever surname she may have. how did this girl know that i liked the beatles? was my love of the beatles a topic of discussion throughout our valley? i doubt it.

i wanna feel like i remember feeling in middle school. it was nice.